beautifulandhappy.com

I should have posted this poem last Lenten, but forgot about the draft. Oh well, it’s better late than never, right? I can’t help to share with you this simple and yet very meaningful poem. So here it goes

Living and Forgiving

Everything is resolving
The nightmare past the earth
Rotating and revolving
I went to pieces now
I come to peace somehow
I see this life is worth
Living and forgiving after all

They can cheat me but cannot beat me
I have survived a very hard fall
Some betrayed me but some repayed me
For my love with true love of their own
I know now and I am better known
That which is good is better understood
Rejected but free I am not alone

by Steven Curtis Lance

Yesterday morning, I attended a recollection hosted by our university. It was just a half-day activity, simple and yet brought out the spirituality in me. What struck me is the video shown about empathy. Empathy is often characterized as “putting oneself into another’s shoes”, or emotionally putting yourself in the place of another. According to R. R. Greenson, to empathize means to share, to experience the feelings of another person.

For us to emphatize, we need to be aware and sensitive of another person’s feelings. During the recollection’s video presentation, a father talked about his transformation to a good father and husband. He narrated that before he and his wife joined a marriage encounter, he was very short-tempered - to the point that he often hurt his wife and kids physically aside from the verbal abuse. He said his transformation is hard, however, with faith and by learning how to be sensitive of his family’s feelings, he was able to control his temper and everyday is still a learning process for him. But the most important thing, he said, is learning to forgive himself with all the hurt he caused his family.

On a personal note, I am touched with this man’s sharing, coz it reminded me of how I snap sometimes when the kids are getting so cheeky. Counting 1 to 100 doesn’t always work, so sometimes I can’t help but shout at them without listening to them first or asking what really happened. For this lenten season, specially since I will have more time to spend with my 3 beautiful kids, I hope I’d succeed on understanding them more and be sensitive on their feelings. I love them so much, no doubt about that, however, I can’t help sometimes not to get angry and raise my voice, specially when they quarrel.  That is one virtue I really have to learn.

Empathy should not just be given to our loved ones, but I think we should also be sensitive to other people around us. I hope after this lenten, I will be more empathizing not just to my kids and family, but also to others - neighbors, students, co-workers, and even to those whom I don’t know. And to have empathy, we should also have LOVE, FAITH & PATIENCE, lots of them! It’s a tall order and for sure a long process, but even small steps would go a long way.

Have a blessed Lenten Season - let us all strengthen our faith!

Another reason why we should always be thankful with our lives and the world around us! Cheers!

A Creed For All Of Us

The world was made
to be beautiful–

but sometimes we get caught up in
everyday actions
completely forgetting about this
completely forgetting about that
what is truly important
are the simple, basic things in life–

honest, pure emotions
surrounded by the majestic beauty
of nature

We need to concentrate on the
freeness and peacefulness of nature and
not on the driven material aspects of life

We need to smell the clear air
after the rainfall
and appreciate the good in things

Each of us must be responsible
and do our part
in order to help preserve a
beautiful world–

the waterfalls, the oceans, the mountains
the large gray boulders
the large green farms
the fluffy pink clouds
the sunrise and sunsets, ladybugs
rainbows, dew, hummingbirds
butterflies, dandelions

We need to remember that
we are here for a short time
and that every day
should count for something
and that every day
we should be thankful
for all the natural beauty

The world is a wonderful place
and we are so lucky to be a part of it.

Susan Polis Schultz

 We know that the Four Way Test is associated with Rotary International.  However, do we really know how it originated?  I lifted this story from truinsights.com, and I am very happy to share it with you.  Did you pass the Four Way Test?

The Four Way Test

The man was Herbert J. Taylor who surveyed the way the company did it’s business, which was the sale of aluminum pots and pans. The nature of the industry was fraught with unethical business practices. To bring the business out of bankruptcy Taylor knew that he had to change the way business was conducted. Ultimately he developed a very simple business philosophy that all employees were to follow in all of their business dealings with customers, suppliers and associates. The philosophy changed the business, turned the business around and ultimately brought it out of bankruptcy.

The business philosophy is a simple four step decision making tool. It didn’t tell people what to do or how to think, but it did give them a tool to use in all of their business dealings. The tool is now well known to anyone that has ever associated themselves with Rotary International. It is simple The Four Way Test. The tip is to use this simple decision making tool in your life and see if it doesn’t make a difference. As people, we must all stand by our personal honesty and integrity. This is a handy and simple test of what you say, do or think. Give it a try in your life.

The Four Way Test

1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and better friendships?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

By the way, this tool made Herbert Taylor a multimillionaire in the 1930s. So it’s also a very profitable way of doing business.

First, I apologize for not posting enough blogs for the last couple of weeks. I am sooo busy with my current teaching job. This is my first time to teach and I am still adjusting. I am teaching Physics 1 and 2, quantitative mathematics, and an elective subject (my only non-brain draining subject). It’s hard to get in during the middle of the semester, coz I am just a substitute for an instructor who’d be on leave for a year. I have to prepare my own teaching materials, but I also need to study again!!

Whew! I never thought teaching would be so hard! I am so wasted when I go home every night! But I am starting to love it. It’s a nice feeling to dress up again, which I missed when I stayed at home for more than a year. I wondered then if I could wear my nice clothes and stilletos ever - now I am excited to prepare my wardrobe (and matching shoes) everyday.

Teaching also uplifted my losing self-steem. Don’t get me wrong, being a stay-at-home mommy is truly rewarding and the hardest, but most fulfilling career I had. Being a fulltime mommy really tested my patience and resilience to problems. I learned that life’s true happiness come from the simplest things, and in the process knew myself better and appreciated life more. However, during my first months of being a fulltime mommy, I experienced some hate crimes from people I barely knew, sending me lots of sms for months telling me I am a no-good wife for letting my husband take all the financial responsibilities. They also tried posting comments here, which I just spammed. The hate crime happened just a few months after I resigned from my job, which I had since I graduated from college in ‘97. I wonder if all stay-at-home mommies get the same kind of insults from judgmental morons. Ooops, sorry for the harsh words. I am still a bit traumatized with that experience - the first time that ever happened to me. But I know my capabilities and I know myself better. I’ve been the breadwinner for the family ever since, so is it a big sin for me to stop working for a while and take care of the kids? I never thought taking care of my children would be a big crime.

Anyways, God is really so good and He puts everything in their right places. After I had those bad experience, and being a fulltime mommy for more than a year, I just can’t refuse the offer to teach. One, the university is just 20 minutes away from our house, compared to my previous job in Makati where the commuting time is more than 4 hours a day. No more traffic and rush hours, so lesser stress but more quality time for the kids. Before, I was adamant of having a household help, but luckily my father recommended a good kasambahay, and so far so good. When I go home every afternoon, I always try to bring pasalubong for the kids, a box of donuts or some treats, and they are all excited to see me. Plus, my youngest Carl is already 3 1/2 years old and he’d be in nursery school by next school year in June. So I think the “weaning” should start now, coz every morning when I bid him goodbye, we always have “crying” moments.

Teaching is fun and yet tiring, and it’s rewarding, too. It’s a nice feeling when the students call me maám, and when they greet me good morning or good afternoon. I am getting back my confidence, which I admit dwindled a bit after I received those nonsense sms and remarks, because somehow I questioned my selfworth - which I shouldn’t have. Being a mother is the greatest role of all. I tried not to get affected but still I was traumatized. I never thought there are “kontrabidas” in real life like those in telenovelas and movies who would do everything to jeopardize a person’s life. But hey, at least they made my faith stronger! God knows the truth and He’s my assurance in everything - ALWAYS!

So, I AM BACK!!! MORE BEAUTIFUL AND HAPPY!!!